Let It Go
by StyleDiva
Summary: I don't think i can explain it that well. U will have to read it to figure it out :) I dedicate this story/ song-fic to Poesia-Riptide, Metallic Mist, Originals143 and foreverknights28. Hope you guys like it.


**:/: LET IT GO :/:**

"How could i delude myself for so long that he... that he actually loved me , " a muffled sob came from the end of the room as Rajat entered the room.  
His heart seem to ache seeing the only girl he had ever loved as a sibling, a best friend and a partner go into pieces.  
Standing in the doorway , he cursed his senior with all his strength for doing this to her.  
It was a blessing that the power had been cut and Tarika could not see him.  
She rarely let her guard down and let people know that although she looked and was extremely tough on the outside, her relationship status with the guy she had been going out for the past 5 years left her vulnerable on the inside so much that at moments she felt that a single blow would be able to knock her down.  
As much as she would know in the deepest part of her heart that she needed someone to comfort her right now, she would be mortified to know that someone had seen her in the state in which she was at the moment.  
Rajat had seen the shadows beneath her eyes getting darker by every passing day in the last few weeks but never had he in his darkest dreams imagined that something no, he was tormenting his sister in such a way.  
There was only on candle in the room and as he went near her, her shadow became more defined.  
She looked nothing like her usual composed self but a broken doll would be a more accurate discription.

Rajat dropped the idea of going to her and letting her know that she was loved if not by him than her family and brother atleast. Instead he turned around and as quietly as he had come turned back and down the stairs through which he had come.  
A pang of remorse hit him as he stepped in the lounge. He knew the right thing would be to go and comfort her but he also knew her and that stopped him from doing the right thing. If she knew he had seen her in the torment she was so deep in she would block him out just like everybody else. In this way she was like a little child if she knew that u knew she was vulnerable, she would become cold like a statue.

Standing in the lounge he debated on how to comfort her without disturbing her mental peace. She was clearly in agony and he had to do something. After a moment as he sat dwelling over what to do, the maid who had let him in came into the room.  
" Saabji, why are u still here, u didn't go above? Should i go and call memsaab?" the maid wondered what was wrong. Rajat was a frequent visitor and usually he just went to tarika's room himself.

" No , don't i will just text her." Rajat answered quickly.  
"Jee? " the maid apparantly hadn't got what he said.  
" Nothing, u go i will do something."  
Hearing this, the maid thinking her job was done, left. She had offered her services, if Rajat refused too bad.

Now rajat realised he was out of ideas , he couldn't comfort her without revealing that he had seen her.

Suddenly he had an idea, he opened the main door and closed it with a bang pretending as if he had just entered. Then he shouted, " Tarika, where are u? "

He had shouted loud enough for tarika to hear.

"Coming," she shouted back, thanking the heavens that rajat hadn't come up.

Rajat settled himself in the sofa realising that she would probably try her best to leave no traces that she had been crying and that would take a while.

At that moment the lights came in and tarika stood to examine her face in the mirror. She noticed the damage was fairly less than expected, nothing cold water wouldnt wash away . So she washed her face 3 times before she was satisfied and went down but she had no control over the hoarness of her voice.

Rajat noticed her attempts to look normal as she walked down and smiled feebly. If only she would let him through that wall. He couldn't help notice the way she carried herself with both hands clasped around her waist as if she was trying to support herself, willing herself to stand even, cradling her body. He also noticed her hand. Their was something missing. Her engagement ring.

He finally got a hang of what was going on, it was over. The emotional turmoil going inside her for the past 5 years had released because it was over.

Tarika noticed the confusion lit his face and also as comprehention dawned upon him.

All he could manage to say was ," You seem down, are u ok? "

Her voice craced but she composed herself, " It's over ,as for the second part , i am fine ."

" Liar ," her conscience screamed at her. She didn't care though she had told him the truth and if not now the misery would fade and she would be fine. The misery had to fade.

"Oh ," Rajat let her take the lead knowing she would be more comfortable so.  
" I just couldn't. I felt like i was loosing myself, my personality in this relationship. I couldn't live in his shadow forever. I guess i was never in love with him. If i had been i would be more in love with him but i guess i was in love with the idea of being in love . I wanted him and that is true. He is the only person i have ever thought of belonging to. However, things have changed. He's changed. I loved the guy who would throw me compliments just to annoy Salunkhe sir but still respect him in the same regard he respected ACP sir, the guy who laughed and teased vivek and freddy sir but never hurt them. The guy who loved my bestfriend for a sister. But i guess he never had these qualities i just fancied he had. U know he doesn't even talk of Tasha anymore as if she never existed. Do u get what i am trying to say, he's different then i thought he would be."

" I do get u Tarika , i tried to explain it to u before but u just wouldn't listen." Rajat answered.  
"U were in love with the idea of being in love,u just gave a face to your own personal hero and it was his face. Maybe its a signal or something from nature to tell u that u will get a guy who will have all the qualities u thought he possessed."

" Really? " Tarika asked with such innocence that she seemed like a little girl to Rajat.  
" Really! " he said very firmly.  
" You will get a guy who will love you and adore you and respect you and above all someone who deserves u. Not someon who takes u for granted." Placing his hands on Tarika's shoulders he said this with such fierceness that she was forced to believe him.

For a moment they remained in the same position until Tarika smiled a broken, half hearted smile and said, " What an ungracious host i am. I didn't even ask what would u like to have ? Tea? Coffee?"

Noticing that she no longer wished to continue discussing their previous topic, he also let it go and smiled a genuine smile at her.

" No nothing, I will leave, I need to meet an informer. " Rajat replied.  
" Ok, but i will drop you to your car ." Rajat was about to protest that there was no need but Tarika had already taken lead .  
Shaking his head he followed her out of her home to the other side of the road where his car was parked.  
As he was leaving , Tarika hugged him and said in a voice barely above a whisper ," Thankyou."  
Holding her hand, Rajat gazed at this doll of a sister god had been gracious enough to give him and said , " Be brave and let it go ."  
Tarika turned fast enough and moved towards her house so he couldn't see the tears on the verge of escaping her eyes. But as one tear drop fell on her lips and tarika tasted its saltiness , she vowed herself that this would be the last teardrop spilled on him.

As Rajat steared the car out of Tarika's street and onto the highway , he couldn't help but think ," Tarika would move on but he felt sorry for his senior. She had thought he was the most amazing guy ever and he knew that if his sister had to choose among all the guys in the world she would still have chosen him and loved him. If only he would have had the sense to value her love and respect it and not take it for granted . "

* * *

Sitting on a rock beside the sea holding the ring he had place on Tarika's hand and which would never be worn on that hand again . His senior was also remorsefully and regretfully thinking the same thing ,**" IF ONLY..."**

* * *

**A/N: Hi guys! ok so if u read it till here thankyou so much. I know the story doesn't make much sense and most of u won't even like but i just felt like writing this. So thankyou for reading as i know its not good but still thankyou. Plz do review. Negative or positive both reviews are welcome."  
Plz i request u all to not say i put Abhijeet in a bad light because in the whole story , nowhere have i specifically used his name and targeted him.**

**Lastly , i dedicate this story/ song-fic / whatever u call it to Poesia-Riptide, Metallic Mist, Originals143 and foreverknights28.**  
**I don't know if u guys will like it or not but i dedicate it to u.**  
**Once again, thankyou and plz do review.**


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